♡ Early miscarriage story♡

Hello you lovely lot, 

I know I haven't blogged in such a long time and I am truly sorry, but I've had a lot to deal with over the past few months.

I'd advice you get comfy grab a brew or coffee whatever tickles your fancy ;), it may be a little TMI!!, "but this is my own sake."  it's going to be a long one... 

On the 12th of February I went to doctors because i was experiencing bleeding i shouldn't of been having, as only just had a period on the 27th of January a normal "7days cycle for me anyway." I went and explained what was going on and I said "Iv been under a lot of stress lately maybe it's that?" She then said is there a a possibility you could be pregnant at that point I was like maybe??, but I'd only just come off a period soo I don't know, she asked me to do a pregnancy test there and then it took about 6 minutes to come through but TWO bright red lines came up and she said well your pregnant and congratulations, I was in total shock as you all know me and partner was taking a step back from trying but wasn't preventing either but I didn't think id get pregnant that quick!, she told me to take another test  48 hours witch I did said 1-2 weeks, then I had to come back on the 16th to see if my bleeding had stopped. That Monday I went to doctors and explained that my bleeding had stopped but it was lumpy and like a normal period?, she then said lets test now and there was a line but it was a lot fainter than the other two.., then she said you need a blood test to check your. HCG levels witch I panicked and I was like why?, she said it could be early and it isn't showing up as good with it being so early it can go up and down I was OK?...

 Anyway had too wait a week to get my blood work done I was a mess with worry!, blood test came around on the 23 and the 25th of February the next day being the 26th I got a phone all from my doctor at 8:00 on the dot telling me I must go to the EPU "Early pregnancy unit " and I would have to have a scan I got  there so up set and worried I didn't know what to think, on notes My doctor put possible ectopic pregnancy!! "what!" So I panicked with worry and had my scan and was told everything was fine and to come in two weeks time so that's what I did got excited told family and friends brought a pregnancy book I was happy and excited, but at the same time very worried as something didn't feel right as much as I excited I wasn't as excited as everyone else in the way that I couldn't feel that excitement, I just had an awful feeling in my stomach that were was something wrong, Friday the 13th march  went by back to the hospital we went for another scan an internal just like the last one witch was unbearably uncomfortable!, I was so nervous that it was going to be like last time, I had to pee in a pot like you do... 

I then noticed I had spotting on my underwear, I knew straight away that it was the end of the road for me :( I started to cry and said I'm spotting the lovely nurse/doctor said don't worry please don't panic we will have a look, she took a test it was negative and then scared me and confirmed my miscarriage at 5 and half weeks.

Iv never felt so numb in my entire life I can't put in the words how I felt all I know is that it wasn't our time and that one day everything will be right and perfect. Anyway guys sorry it's a long one I  just wanted to write it up me. 

Thanks for reading 

Holly-Marie 

Xxx