My 2016 Getting to know me post

              My 2016 Getting to know me
   post.

1. What is your current favourite thing on TV?

Planet Earth!! 

2. Name 3 things that are physically close to you right now?

my phone, wrapping paper and presents 

3. What’s the weather like right now?

clear and dark 

4. Do you drive? If so have you crashed?

nope its one of my things to do list 

5. What are you currently looking forward to?

2017!! 

6. What did you eat for supper last night?

Pizza 

7. What was the last movie you saw?

Happy potter and the philosopher stone 

8. Who did you last call? 

Polly my friend down south 

9. What’s your biggest plan for the year ahead?

to Travel 

10. What was the last country you visited?

Spain 

11. What is your favourite type of food?

Thai Food 

12. Do you prefer to shop in-store or online?

Both 

13. Do you vlog?

Nope

14. What do you want for Christmas?

a Laptop 

15. Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop?

A Mac Minni 

16. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?

26! 

17. What are you most proud of?

Being were i am in life today :)

18. Do you colour your hair?

Brown with blonde High Lights 

19. What is your favourite cake?

Victoria sponge 

20. When was the last time you cried?

this afternoon :( "time of the mouth is due'

21. What is your best life tip?

alway have a smile on you face :)! 

22. What was the last book you read?

Bridget jones's  baby such a good book highly recommend

23. Have you ever had an all-nighter?

yes about 6 mouths ago 'piss head!' ha

24. How many children do you have?

1 angel baby :(

25. What is your favourite recent purchase?

My new dress for new years eve :) 

from +boohoo.com 

Grate Socks Holly! haha 

inspiration for  this blog post from

 Heledd:

www.runninginlavender.com 

☝  ☝ ☝

Go check her blog out 

I Tag +Heidi Hellings  and Tara www.mums-space.co.uk 

Things take time

                                       

                                                     

Hello you lovely people of the internet,

its been too long since i last wrote a post "sad times". 

i have no excuses but sorry life some times takes over,

but i'm back yay!!!

where do i start?

1. Moving out,

2. Stress

3.Being Ill "CONSTENLY"

4. Education

5.Love life 

...

well iv decided to put on my big grown up knickers and move out of my parents house WOOP,WOOP PARTY!! 

i felt like it was time i needed to make that big change and move out as well as on, i feel a lot better for it my own space if am honest its a little two big for just me but am getting used it :) yes it gets lonely being on your most nights but then again its life sometimes you need that time on your own. but i have my two new fishes to keep me company ;) 

Yes thats right stress we all get it more than others but who had thought moving out, working 10 hour shift, trying to keep a social life going some how would be sooooo stressful not me i was clearly wrong :(.

 from the minute i move back up north iv been so poorly.

Chest infection after chest infection and cold after cold i feel like shouting will you germs just piss off!!! haha. 

for a long time iv wanted to go back to collage and study admin and business, iv alway love the idea of a office job. dealing with emails, call, appointments,meetings ect... but first i need my maths so this September i'm going back to collage to study that and then look in to the other course :) 

♡

i don't really know how to start but iv fallen a little to hard for this certain bloke and he makes me laugh witch i didn't think i had anymore he makes me smile every time i wake up in the morning,

i get butterfly's in my tummy when i know am going to see him.

but theres one thing that just wont go away and its the fact that i feel like its too soon after my 6 and half year spilt to feeling like this for someone iv only known a few month i feel a little lost sometimes and i sit and cry because i still have that connection with my ex and i don't want it anymore i feel numb as in i feel nothing for him in that way but i still feel like he's there if that makes sense even though he's not i cry about the fact that its been over year since the miscarriage its brakes my hart that ill never know what he or she would look like i still feel empty i see all my friends from school and work having there 2,3rd baby and i couldn't even make my first one live. but  theses things take time right i know it'll never go away but i just wish things would of been different. but i have Tom and he try's understand how why am sad some days and not my bright bubbly self. i don't like to bring it up because i'm scared he'll run to the the hills. we are getting on really well had our first little tiff the other day haha was so funny i won of course. all i want is to be happy again and find  holly she's coming back slowly :) 

anyway thanks for stopping by to read if your new to my blog follow and say hi down in the little box below id love to ear from you readers :)

    

  

My Next Chapter 2016...

2016...

Do i go on about the last 3 months of 2015 being shit or do i just say 2015 has been the worst year of my life. but that's it, ITS MY LIFE! and its about to change big time. 

Hello you lovely lot, i hope you all had a lovely Christmas and New year?

 Iv had a good new year to start over again yes everyone says the "New year, New me Bullshit." so their wont be a new me because i love me everything about me and if people don't like it well you don't have read or comment. id like to say and hope that everyone one of you loves yourselves too?. because you know if there's one thing iv learnt about myself and my life experiences so far is that you only have one body one mind and most of all one shot at life. yes we get hurt by the people we thought loved us, used by the people we thought was our friends and yes that's hard sometimes to get over but you will because you have you to, i hate the fact that iv wasted six and half years on a man i thought was the man of dreams but it turns out he's not the man i see in my dreams. i don't know who that is... i can go out of weekend and meet people and maybe spend time with these people but the bottom line is you never truly know someone until you live with them... And i wont rush anything again i want to find me again i thought i wanted a family, to buy a house, get married? well i do but with the right person. so you probably know by now what is going on in the life of Holly and i tell you now that chapter is well and truly closed 

and what ever comes next is a mystery but am i ready

 that i can not answer.

thanks for reading 

Holly-Marie 

XxX

♡ Early miscarriage story♡

Hello you lovely lot, 

I know I haven't blogged in such a long time and I am truly sorry, but I've had a lot to deal with over the past few months.

I'd advice you get comfy grab a brew or coffee whatever tickles your fancy ;), it may be a little TMI!!, "but this is my own sake."  it's going to be a long one... 

On the 12th of February I went to doctors because i was experiencing bleeding i shouldn't of been having, as only just had a period on the 27th of January a normal "7days cycle for me anyway." I went and explained what was going on and I said "Iv been under a lot of stress lately maybe it's that?" She then said is there a a possibility you could be pregnant at that point I was like maybe??, but I'd only just come off a period soo I don't know, she asked me to do a pregnancy test there and then it took about 6 minutes to come through but TWO bright red lines came up and she said well your pregnant and congratulations, I was in total shock as you all know me and partner was taking a step back from trying but wasn't preventing either but I didn't think id get pregnant that quick!, she told me to take another test  48 hours witch I did said 1-2 weeks, then I had to come back on the 16th to see if my bleeding had stopped. That Monday I went to doctors and explained that my bleeding had stopped but it was lumpy and like a normal period?, she then said lets test now and there was a line but it was a lot fainter than the other two.., then she said you need a blood test to check your. HCG levels witch I panicked and I was like why?, she said it could be early and it isn't showing up as good with it being so early it can go up and down I was OK?...

 Anyway had too wait a week to get my blood work done I was a mess with worry!, blood test came around on the 23 and the 25th of February the next day being the 26th I got a phone all from my doctor at 8:00 on the dot telling me I must go to the EPU "Early pregnancy unit " and I would have to have a scan I got  there so up set and worried I didn't know what to think, on notes My doctor put possible ectopic pregnancy!! "what!" So I panicked with worry and had my scan and was told everything was fine and to come in two weeks time so that's what I did got excited told family and friends brought a pregnancy book I was happy and excited, but at the same time very worried as something didn't feel right as much as I excited I wasn't as excited as everyone else in the way that I couldn't feel that excitement, I just had an awful feeling in my stomach that were was something wrong, Friday the 13th march  went by back to the hospital we went for another scan an internal just like the last one witch was unbearably uncomfortable!, I was so nervous that it was going to be like last time, I had to pee in a pot like you do... 

I then noticed I had spotting on my underwear, I knew straight away that it was the end of the road for me :( I started to cry and said I'm spotting the lovely nurse/doctor said don't worry please don't panic we will have a look, she took a test it was negative and then scared me and confirmed my miscarriage at 5 and half weeks.

Iv never felt so numb in my entire life I can't put in the words how I felt all I know is that it wasn't our time and that one day everything will be right and perfect. Anyway guys sorry it's a long one I  just wanted to write it up me. 

Thanks for reading 

Holly-Marie 

Xxx